Staying Positive
by sorellanutella
Summary: "Today was a bad day. Most days were pleasant, but ever since Alfred was told his T-cells were low Arthur has seen the declination of Alfred's health rapidly deteriorate. As much as it pained Arthur to know he was watching the love of his life die young to AIDS, he knew he needed to be strong for him, much as the boy was for him his adult life."


Warning: Trigger warning: This deals with the topic of HIV and AIDS, which will include angst. This is a Human AU, with punk themes.

I **do not **own Hetalia or these characters, Himaruya has that honor.

* * *

Alfred coughs deeply, struggling through the tears. Everything hurts now, breathing is nearly impossible and he can't call out, so he simply collapses at the steps, falling forward. The sound of a body connecting with the stair case was enough to cause Arthur to knock his chair aside as he ran to Alfred's aid.

"Darling!" Arthur called out, receiving no answer but the sound of chocked coughing.  
"Alfred, are you alright?" He asked concern deep in his voice, reaching out for his lover.  
The other shook his head, still coughing heavily, tears streaming down Alfred's cheeks as he gasped for breath. Arthur could only watch with fear in his emerald eyes and offer tender comfort as he held the other one up against him for support.

Today was a_ bad _day.

Most days were pleasant, but ever since Alfred was told his T-cells were low Arthur has seen the declination of Alfred's health rapidly deteriorate.  
As much as it pained Arthur to know he was watching the love of his life die young to AIDS, he knew he needed to be strong for him, much as the boy was for him all his adult life.

It was Alfred that pulled Arthur out of that punk lifestyle, a former junkie that has escaped illness by mere miracle.  
Arthur used hard drugs to numb the pain of a life after domestic abuse.  
Moving to the U.S. in hopes to escape his family and life his dream of becoming a punk musician, however he only found more disappointment for himself. He would play the occasional gig that would fuel his addiction that would not be sated easily.

Alfred was the boy parents could be proud of:  
football star that was given a scholarship to attend university to study in engineering, until he threw it all away due to the carelessness of youth. When one is young they find themselves immortal and the harsh realities of life can draw a low hard blow as they did with Alfred. The boy who had never had a cold in his life was diagnosed HIV positive not long after exploring in a stint of unprotected curiosity.  
Alfred was disowned by his family shortly after, his parents claiming they had no further responsibilities to him for he had chosen his life. Perhaps the fact that his father was a clergy member in the church had something to do with denying his gay son that was going to die from AIDs someday.  
Or maybe it was simply too sad to accept, but none of that mattered.

But had it not been for his life choices Alfred and Arthur would have probably never crossed paths.  
Arthur was an undesirable himself. They would have never met in that bar long ago and they would not have fallen hard for each other. Alfred warned against the relationship from the start, knowing that things were different when it came to someone who was clean.

"Love… I know this is impossible, but I swear to you that I love you."  
Arthur said after a long battle of denying his feelings for Alfred. He had been closeted for all his life,  
but now he knew that when it came to love gender didn't matter.  
His heart had led him to the boy with cornflower eyes and hair like the sun.

"I don't want you getting this Arthur."  
Alfred replied with warning, determined in making Arthur change his mind.

"We'll be careful. We'll use protection and I'll take extra precautions."  
Arthur reasoned. Intercourse wasn't such an important aspect of a relationship, but Arthur wanted open options for Alfred so that he felt as normal as possible. All that mattered was no longer denying his heart and being with Alfred as long as time would allow for it.

"No!" Alfred shouted, forcing Arthur's smile to fade. "I won't lose you to this too."

Arthur took a moment of silence before replying, taking Alfred's clenched hand into his own, the other interlocking his digits between Alfred's slender fingers.

"Alfred, I love you. I'm not going to abandon you simply since you've tested positive.  
There are treatments and there's so much we can do in the mean time."

"Arthur, I'm dying."

"So am I. We all are." Arthur replied, cynical humor a sad attempt in maintaining his strong demeanor.

"You don't get it, Artie!  
I'm dying from something I did to myself because I couldn't wait until you came into my life."

" Alfred, you cannot blame yourself for the past any longer.  
You need to realize that I won't give up on you, so please don't give up on us."

Alfred was quiet for some time, tears falling freely from his eyes as he looked down at his lap.  
"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry."

"Alfred… don't apologize, just please don't keep me away. Let me be your strength." Arthur replied, reaching to wipe falling tears.

"This sort of thing isn't supposed to happen to people like me."  
Alfred reasoned, sniffling. He was speaking in anger, Arthur knew this but it still hurt.

"Yes, it would make more sense if a punk like me were to contract the virus-"

"No! I wouldn't wish this for anyone. That's not what I meant and you know it! I'm just angry,  
angry at the fucking world for being so fucking stupid!"

Arthur waited a moment before replying with his heart.  
"We've all made mistakes, love. Each one of us has our own burdens to bear, however this is one that you will not carry on your own. I will be with you always if you'll have me."

Alfred looked up at Arthur, weakness in his form, collapsing his arms about the other.  
"God Artie, I'd be nothing without you!"

"I'd be no one without you."  
Arthur whispered, kissing the other on the forehead and drawing him near.  
Arthur had meant it then and he still did today.

* * *

When caring for him was exhausting Arthur knew it was out of love that he would continue.  
To see Alfred's face every morning was a better prize than he could ever hope for.

He was his happiness and Arthur knew that his happiness would die with him if he were to perish.  
The antiretroviral were getting costly, it was difficult to keep up with only the salary of a teacher, but Arthur was determined if it meant he could keep his sweetheart a day more.

Once the coughing stopped, Alfred smiled weakly at Arthur and apologized.  
"I'm sorry."

"You gave me such a fright!"  
Arthur hushed him, offering a gentle hug.  
"It's alright. I'm here now. You should have called me."

"I didn't want to bother you. I know you were grading papers and that's important."  
Alfred said.

"But your health is far more of a concern to me."  
Arthur said softly, brushing Alfred's bangs back from his flushed face.  
"Oh darling, you're not doing well today…"  
He cursed fall for being such an unforgiving season with flu and illness that made everything so much harder for them.

"Yeah, but I'm better now. You're here." Alfred reassured with a sweet smile.  
"I'm thirsty Art."

"I'll get you something to drink, can you manage to get back to bed?"Arthur asked,

"I don't want to stay in bed today Arthur. I just can't live like this anymore."  
Alfred sighed. He was exhausted of this as well, but unfortunately there wasn't much more he could do on a day like this but stay in bed.

"Alfred, please just until you get better."  
Arthur tried to reason, empathizing with his feelings.

"But you know I won't." Alfred replied, looking to the side with sad eyes.

"Damn it Alfred, I won't have this talk! Not now! Please!"  
Arthur replied frustration and anxiety high in his voice. Why didn't he understand that it hurt him just as much knowing that there was little he could do for him?  
"Just go back to bed, please? For me, Love?" He begged.

Alfred's lips were tight, eyebrows knitted as he used what energy he had to turn back upstairs and back to their bedroom.  
Arthur sighed to himself, hanging his head into his hand as the frustration washed over him.  
Oh how he wished things could be different, how he wished that he didn't have to treat Alfred like a child for his own well being.  
There was really nothing more he could do for him, but Arthur knew he wouldn't give up, not without a fight that they would face together.

* * *

**A/N:**  
The reality of HIV and AIDS pandemic became well known in the 80's,  
however even today it is affecting millions throughout the world and just as many people who don't know much about it.  
There are various websites and organizations that help spread awareness about HIV/AIDS including the International website **Avert.**  
Stay aware and support others so that we can beat HIV/AIDs.

For now this will stay a one shot, however if you wish for more chapters please say so in the reviews. Thank you.


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